This Dominatrix Makes Reading Black Feminist Theory A Requirement For Her Clients
Masters graduate and dominatrix Mistress Velvet turned to sex work two years ago to help things financially. The majority of her clients, she revealed to Huffington Post, are affluent white men, who take the role as her submissive. But there's something about Velvet's work as a Domme that goes above and beyond the general job description in the world of sadomasochism: she educates her clients with black feminism theory.
“I would say, first and foremost, that I describe it as a form of reparations ― not in a systemic way like we're getting land back, but definitely on an individual level, it provides me with an emotional sense of reparations,” she told Huffington Post. “I started to think more about my relationship with them. A lot of them were asking questions. Some people were saying, ‘this is really impacting me in terms of how I think outside of our sessions.’”
Beyond just changing their way of thinking, there are clients of Velvet's that are actively working to make changes in Chicago in order to uplift black women in the area. “A client said he started to notice he would only hold the door open for black women. One client started an organization for black single mothers in the South Side of Chicago,” she said.
Chicago-based Velvet makes her clients engage with black feminism in order for her clients - especially those of the rich, white variety - to remove their problematic ideas surrounding black women and to enrich the Submissive and Dominatrix relationship.
So what reading does she set for her clients? Well, she focuses on works that would make white men identify the stereotypes that they have surrounding black women and how to look beyond them. Titles include Sister Outsiders by Audre Lorde, The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander, The Color Of Kink by Adriene Cruz, and The Black Body In Ecstasy by Jennifer Nash, just to name a few.
“It’s moving from them simply fetishizing black women, to realizing: this is a systemic issue I'm contributing to by the virtue of being a white man and being rich,” Velvet said. “I ask them, ‘Why do you want to be in my presence, why do you find me attractive?’ And sometimes they might say things that then remind me of stereotypes of black women ― like a jezebel or something ― so I’ll have them read a piece about how what they said is related to this historic phenomenon about thinking about black women. I say, ‘Here are its roots. Here’s why it’s problematic.’ That way, I can say, you can idolize me, but we need to have it be done in a way that isn’t also problematic,” she added.
It's so great to see how sex workers are using feminism to educate and improve the relationships that they have with their clients, not to mention their clients' outlooks on aspects that they haven't necessarily thought about - or taken the time to learn about. By simply encouraging male clients to engage with the theoretical ideals and values that surround feminism on an intersectional level can also gradually help change the way that sex workers are viewed by society, as well as helping to create a safer and destigmatised working environment.
